Changes to gender roles are a recent phenomenon in human civilisation. Only a century and a half ago, women and men had clear roles which rarely changed throughout the course of history. Women were the primary caregivers for children; their domain was the home and family. Men were the primary sources of income; their domain was the world of economics, work, and responsibilities outside the home.
Various factors in the course of the 19th and 20th century contributed to the change in these distinctive roles. Whatever the factors behind these changes, few can argue that the roles of women (and subsequently of men) have blurred a lot over the course of the 20th century. These changes have been, in context of wider history, very sudden.
The sexual revolution is still in motion. Society, I believe, is still in the process of configuring the changes that have occurred. You could say that society is still dizzy from the spinning of sudden transformation, and now her view is blurry and it is hard to regain a sense of balance. Those that grew up watching these adjustments occur before their very eyes are different from the young men and women that grow up today who take these changes for granted.
As a member of a younger generation I find the viewpoints and experiences of those who are middle-aged fascinating. Maybe their experiences are very different to mine, but their findings are valuable and need to be listened to. I urge people in my generation and younger to read what these people have discovered in the course of their lives. What have our parents and grandparents learnt from these changes? How can we take such lessons to heart? Can we change anything to make sure that history does not repeat itself? Do they have any wisdom that we can potentially share with future generations and apply to our own lives?
To view the sexual revolution as a static tomb of history or suggest that that the sexual movement is beyond our control is to be powerless. To understand that the sexual revolution is still in motion means that we still have the power to decide its future path. In other words, the sexual revolution is in our hands. This fact alone quietens the gnawing feeling of powerlessness that you may feel.
Blogger Power!
I view blogging as one of the freest modes of communication in the world. Sharing different viewpoints is a way of communicating our findings and understandings and the mysteries surrounding life, the universe, and everything with people we may never meet in life. Not everyone will agree, but the simple act of open discussion is a powerful tool for change over a wide cultural audience.
The presence of Feminist and Men’s Rights Movement blogs all point to the fact that there is still plenty of work that the sexual revolution needs to do before society can begin to settle down. Although it is a noble act that care enough about their world to write blogs about issues that concern them, it can also present a potential problem in the future.
I don’t think all bloggers actually realize the power that they have at their disposal, I think if anything many abuse this power. With the power of communication comes a sense of responsibility – are you blogging to the god of self-expression or are you blogging to communicate value?
I’ll be frank. I have read more Feminist and Men’s Rights Movement blogs than I care to remember. Out of those I can only count the amount of valuable communication on one hand. Very few of these sites offer much of value to anybody. Why?
How many times do we need to hear the same shock news stories thrust down our throats used as examples of either gender? How many times does a man read a Feminist blog and come to the conclusion that men are beyond help or sexually demented in some way? How many times does a woman read a MRM blog and come to the conclusion that women are emotionally stunted and psychopathic liars. Let me tell authors of such blogs a little secret – the characteristics you are keen to ascribe to another gender are characteristics that are just as prevalent in your own. Such characterizations rarely describe gender, but human nature.
In other words, these blogs might reveal some truth, but they are only half-truths.
I feel the same way about shock statistics. 1 out of 4 women could be raped in their lifetime. Really? How is that even slightly helpful to the average Joe or Jane on the streets? Statistically more woman than men file for divorce. Right. These statistics may or may not be accurate, but to me such statistics are used only to rouse a reaction, they are emotive statistics (if there ever were such a concept).
Even if I accept that 1 out of 4 women could be raped in their lifetime, statistics do not tell us what drives some men to rape, nor does it tell us how to keep safe as a woman and (more importantly) they do not offer any solutions about how to change such a shocking ‘fact’. In this case, statistics are used to criticise men, and feminists jump to the assumption that all men are capable of rape.
Regarding the statistic that claims women file for divorce more often than men, the statistic doesn’t tell us why more women are filing for divorce, it doesn’t tell the tale of unfortunate cases where a marriage has broken down due to infidelity and other factors. Yet these statistics are used to suggest that women are flakes, and some even go to the extreme of suggesting that women only get married in order to get half of the assets. Sure, such women do exist as do rapists, but they are actually a minority. However with rampant cynicism and paranoia abound, many are led to the belief that what they read is truth, when really it is all just ammunition for the gender war.
Unfortunately, a lot of these blogs give off the impression that to subscribe to their views and join their ranks (so to speak) is a way of speaking out against oppression. It might just be my own cynicism that prevents me from supporting such causes, but I do think there is such irony that both feminists and MRM sites publish to ‘beat the oppressors’ when it cannot be logically possible that BOTH sides be oppressed at the same time, unless they oppress each other.
Where most would see oppression, I see men and women each struggling to cope with sudden and continuing changes. Rather than recognising that each side has their own cross to bear, the two sides blame the other. Rather than teaming together to work out a mutually beneficial way to live together, raise families, and keep the economy going, the two sides have distanced themselves from each other. It is as if certain groups are arrogant enough to believe they can solve problems for everyone without consulting or including half of all those they purport to help!
Another problem with such groups is that they promote a herd mentality, where rational and independent thinking suffer as consequence. The only thing such blogs and groups manage to achieve is to bounce off the other’s unhappiness and frustrations whilst talking these to death until the spectre of oppression becomes believable even to the most rational.
Please note, I am not saying that problems in society do not exist, I am not encouraging people to shut up and do nothing about real issues that need rectifying nor am I blind to abuses of power, I just think reactionary movements fuelled by personal emotional traumas, self-declared victims, and people with chips on their shoulders are the worst kind of movement to condone, let alone be a part of – no matter how relevant the movement is.
Blog for Balance
I came across a wonderful blog last week called War of the Genders where Baron writes:
Do we have to swing back and forth like a see-saw before we find that delicate balance? What will it take to become a rational society?
In this blog I attempt to be neither here nor there but to provoke independent thinking. I try to show old issues in a new light instead of new issues in an old light. These sites made me realize that my balance is rare and that I’m the only one provoking with conservative opinions instead of stupid progressive ones. I will not link to these sites.
My aims for this blog are very similar to Baron’s; the world doesn’t need yet another reactionary movement tipping the scales again towards one direction or another, we need to focus more effort upon building a balanced and rational society. We need to look at shock statistics and horror stories for what they are. We need to look at the issues for what they are. We need to stop thinking along emotive lines and start screwing our rational heads on and actually look honestly and plainly at the problems placed upon the table. Each of us needs to pour ourselves a drink and sit at this table together and discuss solutions.
Roll up your sleeves ladies and gentlemen, the gender revolution is still moving, and we have work to do!
You don’t need to be a feminist, or join the MRA movement to make a difference. Just read a variety of books on the subject, don’t accept statistics without researching them, and never stop asking questions and demanding answers. Share your experiences, the lessons you have learnt, what you understand to be the truth in an honest and real way, and you can make a difference.
I write to share this understanding, to erase this feeling of powerlessness and I try to make even the smallest difference. If only one person comes away from this blog pondering on what I have written (even if that is just to ponder what the bleeding heck I am talking about 
) I will have achieved my objective.
This is why I blog.
Related Articles
Individually and collectively, we are responsible for how the sexual revolution develops in the present and into the future
Any movement that is influential in moulding the shape of the sexual revolution should not be immune to constructive criticism.
Any movement that has the potential to mould the shape of the sexual revolution should be solution-orientated rather than promoting a victim mentality
